I signed up to Massdrop on May 5th. Pretty soon, my mailbox looked like this:
Lucky guy, I though, and clicked the unsubscribe link which wasn’t actually hidden too well. I did the same again, a few days later. Then two days in a row, starting to question my sanity. On day 4 or so, I took a closer look at that unsubscribe form.
I had been signed up for twelve newsletters. Twelve. 12. XII. I never check any newsletter checkboxes. I only get to read about 10% of the stuff I want to read, so there this isn’t going to work for either of us, Massdrop.
Right below Matrix of Greed is a button, helpful labeled Opt Out.
I’m just a lowely foreigner not versed in the latest venacular, so I didn’t notice the meaning of Opt Out had shifted to suck it!. Because, you see, when you click that button, only one of the twelve newsletters is canceled. As they appear to think more than one email per day is too much, they’re actually rate limited.
I didn’t do any experiments, but I bet I could get a daily you were mentioned email, without ever beeing active in the Massdrop Community of Consumerism-Meets-Djihad Death to your Money, May Your Inbox burn in Hell, Fresh Virgins, 10% off if we get enough orders, etc. pp..
Oh, by the way: clicking the button results in a nice green You’ve been unsubscribed banner. If you reload, come back later or even press the save button, you will learn that, well, probably some technical problems, usually on the customer’s end, somehow, anyway, your changes weren’t actually saved. Sorry mate, can we get you something to compensate? People love our newsletter!
But, there’s hope after all. Down where the Massdrops drop their droppings with mass, there’s another link, labeled not Click here to unsubscribe, this time we mean it!!1! but similar:
…Which creates the excellent effect of scrolling you back up to some other or else option, anyway, I give up. You win, Massdrop. Your keyboards are only totally too expensive and I will review this review from time to time.
Important instructions to actually unsubscribe from Massdrop Nesletter spam
Do not actually unsubscribe! Simply report about 10 of their mails as spam. With any modern e-mail provider, you will never see their emails again, and with a few people doing so, they will soon end in the spam folder by default.